I shall rescue you: Neither British nor American Imperialism

December 27, 2004

Are we all aware that Khatami has invited Iranians in the exile to put their names forward as candidates for the next presidential elections in Iran?

I am and so I have decided to throw my hat in the ring and declare myself a candidate to be the next president of the Islamic Republic of Iran, and here is my Manifesto.

(1) As the president of Iran I will revolutionise the Education System so as to make gentlemen of Iranians who choose to join it; for a decent education system must be proactive and enable today's children, tomorrow?s adults constituting society, to think for themselves and stand on their own two feet and provide for themselves, instead of looking out and up to the State to provide for them.

(2) Iranian Education System will deliver gentlemen/women to Iranian society and world stage as of the day one of my presidency. No Iranian will evera gain consider him/herself inferior to English, American, French, Italian men and women. They shall see themselves as equal to all Western men and women and behave as equals with them when coming into touch with such men and women from the West.

(3) New Education System in Iran will ensure children and adults are able to distinguish friends from foes; will appreciate well from evil; will acknowledge good deeds and promote not only good deeds but also people who act them out.

(4) New Education system of Iran will teach by means of personal experience and will not learn / know anything unless seen, tasted, felt, known by physical experience, and will denounce any kind of learning by rote.

(5) Children will be brought up free from fear of any kind. Parents will be punished severely if they use any kind of psychological or physical threat or abuse.

(6) Children will learn to respect their neighbours and never trust foreigners about whom they know nothing. Having mutual respect for one another, peer groups, classmates, neighbours, work colleagues, and other fellow Iranians shall be the cornerstone of the New Education System, by means of which all social skills such as "odaabe moasherat va lozoome gozardan e ehteraam be deegaran e hamnoo" shall be taught and learned.

(7) I will eradicate unemployment in Iran using the same resources available to the current gov't of Iran; and I will guarantee a well paid job to any Iranian which is born anywhere in Iran and all jobs shall be well paid, and include perks such as long annual holidays etc.

(8) I will provide a home/roof over head for every single Iranian that lives in Iran and therefore is entitled to a decent home. My policy would be Home for Heroes, as Iranian people are heroes and have put up with a lot in the last 26 years under the inefficient Islamic Republic. Homes shall be big enough to accommodate all members of family quite comfortably.

(9) Free Health care will be provided for all Iranians throughout the country and shall include dental care, optical and care for ear, nose and throat.

(10) Income Tax will be abolished categorically and completely, and redistribution of income shall not be allowed under any circumstances.

(11) All foreign politicians residing in Tehran, as well as foreign advisors to Khatami and his cabinet shall be dismissed immediately and removed from the Country as soon as possible.

(12) All foreign employees of the gov't and various institutions within and without Iran will be dismissed, and their jobs will be offered to Iranians with a decent salary.

(13) Training for doing all kinds of jobs will be provided by the gov't free of charge for all employees without exception.

(14) Universities of the Country will become centers of search and analysis on a global basis so as to provide advisors and experts on international relations and domestic issues and policies for the gov't and its executive personnel.

(15) Learning of all languages spoken by the people of the planet earth will be compulsory for pupils, students, trainees and applicants for various posts in the country.

(16) One of my main objectives would be to establish an Institute of spoken and written languages on the planet earth, which will have branches in every nook and corner of Iran.

(17) Creating, building and establishing an infrastructure for the Publishing business and industry will be another one of my main objectives as the president of Iran.

(18) All publishing business and industry shall be nationalised and their employees shall be considered gov't employees; and all books, pamphlets, periodicals written and produced by Iranians in Persian language shall be published and distributed throughout Iran.

(19) Price of buying books, pamphlets, periodicals, newspapers, and magazines shall come down dramatically in order to encourage Iranians to become readers, researchers and seekers after knowledge and information.

(20) All land belongs to God and therefore I shall nationalise all and make it impossible for the crooks, estate agents, and besaazo beforooshha to do as they wish with the valuable and rich land of Iran. All people who earn their living via these means shall be employed by the gov't according to their skill and inclinations, guaranteeing a good wage/salary to them so as to make sure they will not become impoverished.

(21) My slogan in this election will be: Homes are to live in, not to make money out of. And so selling homes in which one lives for profit will become illegal.

(22) All homes will be owned by the State and no trading / transaction respecting them shall be allowed; in order to encourage Iranians to be fruitful; instead of being parasites which live off the wealth and produce of others.

(23) Earning your living by possessing land or homes will no longer be possible; since I shall guarantee a well-paid job to all Iranians, there should not be a need for such preposterous acts which has resulted in sucking the blood of fellow Iranians; the culprits must learn to live off the sweat of their brow; work to earn their living, instead of possessing lands in the middle of nowhere and selling it for a fortune to desperate Iranians.

(24) All loans from foreign banks and IMF shall be returned to the loan-givers in order to ensure a free and independent gov't. Particularly IMF loan must be returned and all future loans from such loan sharks must be forbidden and shall be considered a treason, if any body in the gov't decides or chooses to borrow from foreign authorities.

(25) IMF and World Bank and all similar imperialist institutions do not have Iran's best interest at heart when they agree to give a loan to Iran's gov't. And so whoever chooses to go for such loans must be considered a traitor and his or her doings will be treason.

(26) Iran under my presidency will not be interested in joining any Imperialist institution including World Trade Organisation, whose prime objective is the sucking of the blood of the people of 2nd and third world, so as to make the big business and the rich in the West even fatter and richer.

(27) Any cabinet minister who is to blame for the budget deficit shall be dismissed, arrested and imprisoned immediately and if found guilty of gross misconduct shall be subject to summary execution.

(28) Under my presidency people of Iran will not be punished for unprofessionalism and inefficiencies in the cabinet or gov't. The responsible member for the budget deficit shall pay for it with his own money, time and energy.

(29) Under my presidency prices of goods and foodstuff will not go up under no circumstances; let alone the budget deficit for which Cabinet Ministers are alone responsible.

(30) UN's declaration of Human Rights shall become the law of the land in Iran.

(31) All economic rights decorations by the UN shall be studied carefully and if found to be useful for the nation of Iran, shall be implemented immediately so as the rich and famous in Iran would be compelled to abide by them.

(32) Iran will be a democracy and so the highest authority and power in the land of Iran will be Majlis Shouraye Islamy, in order to achieve the ideal of gov't by the people for the people.

(33) In order to make Majlis representative of all Iranian people, I will encourage Majlis to change the Constitution and provide for ever 50,000 people to send one representative to the Majlis in order to voice their needs, opinions and wishes.

(34) The Guardian Council (Shoraye Negahban) will be advised to strengthen their power-base in Iran by electing their members by means of general elections: so that their existence cannot be questioned by anyone inside and outside Iran.

(35) I will advise Majlis to insert it in the amended Constitution that the Guardian Council is no different to the American Senate, and its existence is a must in a democratic Iran.

(36) In order to strengthen the Guardian Council, I will ask Majlis to amend the Constitution to include the need for the Guardian Council to be representative of all Iranian people and so it must have one delegate from amidst every one hundred thousand Iranians.

(37) Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (Rahbar) shall remain in his post as the highest authority; just as the Queen of England is the highest authority in the UK; that is, he will give advise, assurance, criticism; and his signature will be required before bills can become laws by which all Iranian people must abide.

(38) The rule of law throughout the country will be a MUST and no one, regardless of how great or small they are, shall be allowed to consider him/herself above it.

(39) President and its cabinet shall be executive arm of the gov't (goveh y mojreeye) and act within the laws enacted by the Majlis Shoraye Islamy. Cabinet ministers who refuse to abide by this constitutional law shall be dismissed and imprisoned for at least one year.

(40) Moral values will be adhered to quite stiffly; so all pedophiles shall be executed summarily. Anyone accused of child molestation, incest, any kind of sexual abuse shall be arrested, imprisoned, and become subject to summary execution.

(41) The right of people to go about their business freely shall be guaranteed and abuse of no kinds shall be tolerated.

(42) Freedom of dress is tolerated, as long as men and women of Iran are prepared to respect their fellow countrymen, by not appearing before them in any immodest and outrageous shape of form. That is, women can dress as they wish, but they will not be allowed to expose their private parts; meaning no one can walk the street of Iran in mini skirts or in topless clothes.

(43) The slogan "Azaady e man dar jaayee khatm meeshavad ke Azaadee deegaran dar onja shoroo meeshavad" will be adhered to. That is, women must dress modestly for the sake of respecting other people's freedom not to have to set their eyes on things they do not wish to see in public places and in wider society.

(44) Foreign Relations: There can be no relations with the West unless gov't of Iran agrees to consider itself below and subservient to it. Therefore speaking of relations with countries such as England, USA, France, Russia, China, Japan, Germany, Italy, Spain is absurd. For as far as these countries are concerned Iran is a "savage" and "uncivilised" country and they are coming to "reform" and "civilise" it. While Iranians are a nation which considered to be the super race on the planet earth. I as the president of Iran will not accept anything less.

(45) So, there will either be no relations with the West, or the West will have to consider Iran an equal partner and an equal player on the world scene. My gov't will not allow any Western gov't to get away with forcing Iran into a subservient position in relation to the West.

(46) Before starting any negotiations with the West, I shall ask it to refund, reimburse and return all the frozen assets belonging to Iran and in which governments in the West have been having a free hand for the last 26 years.

(47) For as long as every penny and cent of all frozen assets belonging to Iran has not been returned to Iran, there can be no relations with any Western power or "allies".

(48) Iranian army shall be trained and mobilised to face any threat from UK and USA.

(49) Since Iran is a country superior to all other countries in the West and East, any attack or interference within its borders, any forceful and compulsory requirement imposed upon it, shall be responded equally forcefully; if necessary by bringing on the Iranian army into the center stage of international relations. Iran shall not tolerate any imperative commands from anyone, not even UK or USA.

(50) As long as UK, Israel and USA have nuclear bomb, Iran will have it too.

(52) All cities on the borders shall be developed and become amongst the major cities.

(53) Iranian army shall have bases in all cities bordering Iran.

(54) All borders shall be protected by the presence of Iranian army so that Israel cannot be allowed to infiltrate into Iran like "mooro malakh".

(55) Free of speech, press, gathering together/ejtemaat, movement shall be guaranteed under my presidency.

(56) In order to ensure these freedoms will not abused, I shall appoint a Press Secretary whose job it would be to provide answers for any criticism, accusations, allegations and charges against the gov't and all mass media will be required by law to publish such responses by the gov't to all critics; so that mogarezeen/provocateurs (including Britain and USA secret agents) will be prevented from achieving their unholy goals within the country.

(57) Because Iranian gov't is engaged in trading with the people of Iran; buys cheaply and sells back to Iranians very expensively; I shall put an end to this practice, either by nationalising all production industries, or by dropping this practice altogether and allowing individual private trades and businessmen pick it up and start buying and selling internally, doing business with the people of Iran without any gov't interference.

(58) Because the state has been in the business of doing business with Iran for over 200 years, since the English east India Co started doing serious business within Iran, giving back such power to individual traders and businessmen may be too daunting and difficult; or even impracticable. For producers are used to selling to the got and retailers are used to buying from the gov't under whatever condition and for whatever price.

(59) So I propose to nationalise all production facilities and industries; make all producers gov't employees by paying them decent wage and keeping them happy at all costs, to make them willing to continue producing food stuff and other produce which is consumed by Iranian public. This will give goats in Iran the power and necessary authority to keep all prices down and affordable for the masses at all times.

(60) Once the process of electing me to office of the President is complete, I shall invite all Iranians to contribute to the improvemen of economy of the country as a whole. All ideas and comments in this respect shall be taken on board; listened to and mediated upon, in order to find the best solution to the economic problems of Iran.

(61) For to-date no one had paid any attention to the fact that it is gov't of Iran, which is buying from and selling to Iranians. It is a recently discovered fact that the Iranian got has monopoly over the "capitalist" market, making capitalist system of economy look ridiculous.

(62) And so, I submit that nationalising all production facilities and sources is the best solution to this problem, and as the only way to ensure current levels of productions of all kinds, as well as maintaining necessary control over prices, for the sake of either keeping prices down or raising salaries and incomes to an extent that a decent standard of living would become a reality and possible for all classes of people in Iran.

This is a provisional Manifesto; once I am accepted as a running candidate I shall elaborate on how I shall be running Iran, and give more details about my future administration by means of which I shall be running Iran.

The views and opinions expressed in this editorial are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Pars Times.